Turning Fear Back Into Love: A Journey of Somatic Awareness, Dance, and Coming Home to Yourself

There are days when life feels easy and open, days when joy moves through the body like a warm breeze, days when clarity lands gently in the heart. And then there are days like yesterday… the kind that remind us just how human we really are.

I found myself sitting on my couch, feeling a heaviness I couldn’t quite name at first. It started as a subtle pressure in my chest, a tightness in my throat, and then the thoughts began to swirl. You know the ones, the quiet whispers that tell you you’re not enough, that you’re falling behind, that maybe everyone else sees something in you that you can’t seem to see in yourself.

Fear.

Doubt.

Not-enoughness.

Loneliness.

Emotions I once knew intimately… and emotions I have spent years learning how to move through, not by rejecting them, but by meeting them with presence, compassion, and breath.

This is the part of the story that matters most:

I recognized it.

Not with shame.

Not with panic.

But with awareness.

And that awareness is everything.

Recognizing Old Patterns With a New Heart

For so many years of my life before this season of healing childhood trauma from Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA), I would have let those thoughts spiral. I would’ve pushed them away, denied them, or tried to outrun them. But yesterday, I caught myself. Not with judgment… but with gentleness.

I closed my eyes.

I put my hand on my heart.

And I took a slow, deep breath that filled my entire body.

This is what somatic awareness looks like.

This is what healing looks like.

This is what choosing yourself looks like.

I whispered to myself, “Shalay, you’ve been here before. You know this place. And you also know the way out.”

Fear had been the door. But love,

Love is what I chose to walk through.

The Sacred Pause: How I Shifted My Energy in Real Time Through Somatic Awareness

One of the most powerful things I’ve gained through my own healing journey, and through years of movement, breathwork, somatic practice, and dance, is the ability to shift my emotional state on purpose.

Not by forcing positivity.

Not by passing the hard emotions.

But by honoring what’s real and gently guiding my body back into safety and softness.

Here’s exactly what I did:

1. I acknowledged the emotion without shame.

“This is sadness. This is fear. This is loneliness. ”Naming it helped it loosen its grip.

2. I reminded myself that thoughts are not truth.

They are passing weather patterns, not permanent realities.

3. I breathed deeply into the tight areas in my body.

This alone softened so much.

4. I allowed myself to feel gratitude for my own growth.

Not for perfection… but for presence.

5. I chose to shift. On purpose.

From fear… to love.

From doubt… to self-trust.

From heaviness… to groundedness.

This is the heart of somatic healing:

finding the quiet power beneath the noise and returning to yourself again and again.

Honoring the Journey: Where I Was, Where I Am, and Where I’m Going

As I sat there in that moment, wrapped in a blanket and surrounded by the stillness of my home, something in me softened enough to let gratitude in.

I thought about the woman I once was, the woman who didn’t have the tools, the awareness, or the courage to face these moments with tenderness.

I thought about the woman I have become, one who listens to her body, honors her emotions, and trusts her path.

And I thought about the woman I am continuing to step into, one who leads with love, who creates with intention, and who is committed to helping others transform in their own powerful ways.

My journey has not been linear.

It has not been easy.

But it has been sacred.

Every tear, every breakdown, every breakthrough, every dance partner, every breathwork practice, every moment I chose to stay in the discomfort a little longer… it has all shaped the woman I am today.

And I honor her. Deeply.

Commitment: The Through Line of Transformed Lives

If there is one thing I am most proud of about myself, it is this:

I am committed.

Committed to healing.

Committed to serving.

Committed to loving.

Committed to leading.

Committed to stepping into my light, even when it feels uncomfortable or vulnerable.

This commitment is not perfection. It is devotion.

And it’s woven into everything I do, especially the work I do through Dance to Uplift, my adult beginner dance classes in Utah County, my West Coast Swing series, my somatic dance classes for women, and my couples date night series.

Every class I teach…Every client I support…Every woman or couple who steps into my classes…I bring this commitment with me.

Because healing is not just about talking through things.

It’s about moving through them.

Breathing through them.

Feeling them.

And then allowing the body to shift into a new state of openness, possibility, and connection.

Dance has allowed me to do that for myself over and over again.

And it’s why I feel so passionate about guiding others through it.

Somatic Movement and Dance: The Tools That Saved Me

One of the greatest gifts I have been given on this earth is the ability to tune into my body in real time.

To feel what I’m feeling without letting it overtake me.

To observe my thoughts without letting them define me.

To move energy through dance, breath, grounding, and connection.

This is why somatic dance and West Coast Swing have become the foundation of my work. They’re more than movement, they’re medicine.

Dance teaches presence.

When you’re dancing, you cannot be in the past or future. You must be right here, right now, in your body.

Breath teaches regulation.

One intentional breath can shift the nervous system entirely.

Connection teaches truth.

Whether you’re connecting with yourself, your partner, or the room around you, dance creates a pathway back to your authentic self.

These are the same tools I use when days like yesterday arrive.

These are the tools I teach my beginner dance students in Utah County.

These are the tools I weave into every class, every lesson, and every moment of my work.

Because I believe deeply in this:

Your body already knows the way.

Sometimes it just needs a gentle guide to come back home.

Your Light Heals. Your Presence Matters. Your Energy Impacts Others.

One of the most beautiful realizations I had during my quiet moment yesterday was this:

We all possess the power to transform ourselves.

Not through massive life changes.

Not through dramatic reinventions.

But through small, intentional shifts:

A breath.

A pause.

A grounding.

A moment of awareness.

A choice to turn fear into love.

Your light matters.

Your presence heals more than you know.

Your energy influences every room you walk into.

And your willingness to shift, even just a little, creates ripples far beyond your awareness.

You were never meant to do this life alone.

You were never meant to numb your emotions.

You were never meant to shrink in fear.

You were meant to shine.

To love.

To move.

To feel.

To grow.

To dance.

To reconnect with your body and reclaim the radiance that has always been yours.

If You’re Ready to Step Into Your Light… I’m Here

If something in this story speaks to you…If you’ve been feeling the heaviness too…If you’re ready to remember who you are again…If you’re craving movement, connection, confidence, or joy…

I would love to support you.

My adult beginner dance classes in Utah County, my somatic dance classes, my ladies' Play Passionately series, and my couples Live in Love date night were created to help women and couples reconnect with themselves, each other, and God through movement, breath, and meaningful presence.

Whether you want to:

✨ build confidence

✨ heal your nervous system

✨ reconnect with your partner

✨ awaken your joy

✨ learn West Coast Swing

✨ or simply feel like yourself again…

You don’t have to do it alone.

Let’s walk this journey together.

Let’s breathe together.

Let’s move with intention.

Let’s transform through dance.

Let’s turn fear back into love.

Let’s step into the radiant, powerful, wholehearted version of you that has always been there… waiting patiently to be seen.

If you’re ready,

I’m here.

Reach out anytime.

Your journey matters, and you don’t have to walk it alone.

Explore upcoming classes, somatic dance sessions, and connection-centered programs at DanceToUplift.com

Live in Love, Move with Meaning, Play Passionately,

Shalay