When Dance Feels Out of Alignment: Coming Home to Yourself, Your Light, and the Power of Choice

When the Place That Heals You Also Challenges You

In my last post, I shared how I couldn’t always see my light and how dance helped bring it back.

What I didn’t share then is this truth:

Even the very thing that heals us can sometimes be the place where we feel the most out of alignment.

Dance has been one of my greatest teachers, healers, and companions. And yet, there have been moments, seasons even, when stepping into certain dance environments made me want to shut down… or run.

Not because dance itself was wrong.

But because the energy around it felt disconnected from why I dance in the first place.

And if you’ve ever felt this, whether in dance, relationships, work, or community, I want you to know: you are not alone.

The Shadow Side of Connection: Comparison, Cliques, and Validation

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t always get said out loud.

The dance world, like many social spaces, can sometimes be filled with:

• Comparison

• Cliques

• Hierarchies of who’s “in” and who’s not

• A quiet pressure to be seen, chosen, validated

  
  

For sensitive souls, empaths, and women who have done deep healing work, this environment can feel overwhelming.

There have been nights when I walked into a dance space and felt my body tighten.

My breath shortens.

My joy dims.

Not because I didn’t belong, but because the energy wasn’t aligned with my nervous system, my values, or my heart.

And when you’ve lived through trauma or spent years learning how to listen to your body, these moments matter.

Your body knows.

When Old Patterns Try to Resurface in Dance and Move Us Out of Alignment

For me, these environments can sometimes trigger old patterns:

• The desire to shrink

• The urge to prove myself

• The instinct to people-please

• Or the impulse to disappear altogether

  
  

And that’s when I know it’s time to pause.

Because true healing doesn’t mean we never get triggered.

It means we recognize it faster.

And we know how to come back home to ourselves.

Coming Back to “Home”: Center, Ground, Remember

When I feel out of alignment in dance, I return to what I call home.

Home is not a place.

It’s a state of being.

It’s my center.

My breath.

My grounding.

My core.

Home is where I remember:

✨ I am the gift

✨ My presence matters

✨ My light is not dependent on external validation

When we are grounded in who we are, comparison loses its grip.

When we are centered, we no longer need to chase belonging.

We become it.

You Are the Light You’re Looking For

One of the most powerful lessons dance has taught me is this:

You don’t have to wait for the room to change in order to shine.

You can bring your light with you, wherever you go.

And sometimes, simply staying rooted in your truth becomes an act of leadership.

An act of healing.

An act of love.

You can be the one who:

• Softens a tense space

• Offers warmth instead of competition

• Leads with kindness instead of comparison

  
  

And when others try to dim you, intentionally or not, you don’t have to absorb it.

You can choose to rise.

Healing That Isn’t Dependent on External Circumstances

True healing happens when:

• Our worth isn’t determined by who dances with us

• Our joy isn’t dependent on being seen

• Our peace isn’t shaken by other people’s behavior

  
  

This doesn’t mean we tolerate environments that drain us.

It means we learn discernment.

We learn when to stay rooted.

And when to lovingly step away.

The Power of Choice: You Get to Choose Where You Dance

One of the greatest gifts we have, both in dance and in life, is choice.

You get to choose:

• Where you spend your energy

• Who you connect with

• What environments nourish your soul

  
  

And sometimes the most self-loving choice is to find, or create, a space that truly resonates.

This is why I believe so deeply in intentional community.

Because not every dance space is meant for every dancer.

And that’s okay.

Different offerings exist for different souls.

Why I’m Creating Something Different: UPLIFT – West Coast Swing with Meaning

This is one of the reasons I am creating UPLIFT – West Coast Swing with Meaning, a 4th Friday social in Pleasant Grove.

UPLIFT was born from a simple but powerful question:

What if dance spaces could feel safe, grounded, and genuinely connected?

This is a space for:

• Women who want to dance without comparison

• Couples seeking real connection

• Empty nesters rediscovering joy and play

• Dancers who value presence over performance

  
  

A place where:

• You don’t have to be “in” to belong

• Laughter is welcome

• Growth is encouraged

• Connection comes first

  
  

UPLIFT is about dancing with people, not over them.

It’s about remembering why we fell in love with dance in the first place.

Dance as a Reflection of Life and Relationships

Dance mirrors life beautifully.

In both, we learn:

• How to stay centered in chaos

• How to communicate without words

• How to adjust without losing ourselves

• How to choose connection over control

  
  

For couples, this is especially powerful.

When you learn to stay grounded on the dance floor, especially when things don’t go as planned, you’re learning skills that translate directly into your relationship.

Presence.

Patience.

Playfulness.

Trust.

For Women and Empty Nesters: Reclaiming Joy Without Apology

For women, especially empty nesters, this season of life can bring both freedom and uncertainty.

Dance becomes a way to:

• Reconnect with your body

• Rediscover play

• Remember who you are beyond roles

  
  

And doing this in a space that honors your nervous system, your values, and your heart matters deeply.

You deserve joy that feels safe.

Connection that feels real.

Movement that feels like home.

When It’s Time to Choose a Different Room

There is no failure in leaving spaces that no longer fit.

There is wisdom.

If an environment consistently pulls you out of alignment, listen.

Your body is offering guidance, not rejection.

You are allowed to choose differently.

You are allowed to seek resonance.

You are allowed to protect your peace.

And when you do, you create room for something better.

Bringing It All Back to the Heart

Dance has taught me that healing isn’t about avoiding discomfort.

It’s about staying true, no matter the environment.

When we remain rooted in our core, we are unshakeable.

When we remember we are the gift, no one can take that from us.

And when we choose spaces that align with our values, we don’t just heal ourselves, we help others feel safe enough to do the same.

An Invitation

If you’ve ever felt out of alignment…

If you’ve ever questioned whether you belonged…

If you’re longing for dance to feel joyful again…

I invite you to come dance with us. You can find us at www.dancetouplift.com

Not to impress.

Not to compete.

But to connect.

Because the most powerful dance you’ll ever do is the one where you stay true to who you are.

And when you do, your light leads the way.