Finding Peace Again: How Self-Awareness, Breathwork, and West Coast Swing Dancing Brought Me Home to Myself

Peace wasn’t a feeling I grew up knowing. For most of my life, peace felt like something other people talked about in books or sermons or long, poetic quotes that sounded beautiful… but impossible for me. I lived in a body that felt unpredictable, a mind that felt scattered and unsafe, and a nervous system that was constantly bracing for something that wasn’t even happening anymore.

And for years, I believed something was “wrong” with me.

The Day Everything Changed: Finding Peace

I still remember the moment, the exact breath, when I learned I had dissociative identity disorder (DID). It felt like someone had quietly opened a door to a room I didn’t even know existed. At first, that diagnosis felt heavy. Terrifying. Confusing. Like someone was naming what I already knew deep inside but hadn’t been able to articulate:

that parts of me had been trying to survive long before I ever understood what survival meant.

Back then, I truly couldn’t imagine a life free from triggers…

A life where I didn’t constantly feel the urge to flee…

A life where I wasn’t being pulled into fragmenting, frozen states as different parts of me took over.

I didn’t know what calm felt like.

I didn’t know what safety felt like.

I didn’t know what joy felt like in my actual body, not just in theory.

But I did know one thing:

I wanted to heal.

Not halfway.

Not just enough to function.

But fully, deeply. honestly.

I wanted to build a life filled with joy, peace, embodiment, love, connection, meaning… the things I now teach through Dance to Uplift, my breathwork classes, my West Coast Swing series, and the work I do with women and couples every single day. Each of these goes back to finding peace.

(Dance to Uplift)

The Mission That Found Me

Once I understood what was happening in my nervous system, not as a flaw, but as a brilliant survival strategy, my mission became clear:

I was going to learn how to bring every part of me back home.

Into my breath.

Into my body.

Into presence.

Into connection.Into peace.

It became one of the hardest journeys I have ever walked through…

but also the most beautiful, sacred, wholehearted experience of my life.

Today, as I sit here writing this, I am overflowing with gratitude for the girl I used to be, the one who held on, the one who made sure I survived long enough to heal.

The Unexpected Key: Loving Every Part of Myself

The turning point of my healing wasn’t a single moment; it was a hundred tiny ones.

It was the morning I looked in the mirror and didn’t flinch.

It was the breath I took where my shoulders softened instead of tightening

It was the first time a trigger rose inside me, and I didn’t run.

It was the slow realization that every single part of me, even the ones that felt messy, scared, or broken, had been doing its very best.

And then something miraculous happened:

I stopped fighting those parts.

I started loving them.

Each part of me had carried a story, a memory, a layer of protection. These parts had held the weight of experiences my younger self didn’t know how to hold. When I began treating them not as enemies, but as loyal companions trying to help me survive, everything softened.

I realized:

Healing isn’t about erasing parts.

Healing is about embracing them.

Loving them.Integrating them.

Honoring the wisdom they carry.

As that truth settled into my body, something inside me cracked open. I cried tears I didn’t even know were there, tears of relief, gratitude, and joy.

The First Step: Self-Awareness

Before dance changed me…

Before breathwork calmed me…

Before somatic work rewired me…

Before nervous system regulation became my foundation…

There was one step that came first:

Self-awareness.

The simple, but not always easy, act of witnessing what was happening inside me without judgment.

For the first time, I could feel:

• when my breath held

• when my chest tightened

• when my body left the moment

• when a younger part of me surfaced

• when I dissociated

• when I froze

• when I needed comfort instead of criticism

Awareness didn’t heal me on its own, but it opened the door.

The Second Step: Self-Connection

Once I could see what was happening inside me…

I learned how to stay with myself.

This is where breathwork, somatic grounding, gentle movement, and eventually dance became my lifeline.

I practiced small things at first:

• placing a hand on my heart

• breathing deeper into my belly

• letting my feet touch the ground

• swaying side to side

• humming to settle my vagus nerve

• pausing instead of abandoning myself

These tiny practices helped me reclaim the pieces of myself that trauma had taught me to disconnect from.

Somatic Healing: What My Nervous System Needed

As I dove deeper into somatic work, the same work I now teach in my Move with Meaning classes, I realized that my nervous system wasn’t “broken.”

It was brilliant.

It had adapted.

It had survived.

It had protected me.

Somatic healing gave me the tools to finally communicate safety back to my body:

• You don’t need to run.

• You don’t need to freeze.

• You don’t need to fragment.

• You’re safe now.

• I’m here with you.

These were conversations between breath and body… between movement and memory… between the woman I am today and the girl I once was.

How Dance Integrated Everything

Dance didn’t just help me heal; dance integrated me.

This is why I created Dance to Uplift.

This is why I teach the nervous system through movement.

This is why West Coast Swing became more than a dance for me, it became a language of connection, presence, and embodiment.

When you dance:

• your breath finds rhythm

• your body finds safety

• your mind softens

• your heart opens

• your nervous system feels connection

• you get to experience joy in real time

• you practice being present

• you feel your body come back online

• you remember you’re whole

Dance helped me embody the peace I had been searching for.

It helped me return to myself, over and over again.

What Peace Actually Feels Like Now

Today, peace is not a theory.

It’s not a quote.

It’s not a hope.

Peace is my lived experience.

It’s the home I returned to inside myself.

I wake up with breath instead of fear.

I move with intention instead of dissociation.

I feel grounded instead of scattered.

I feel connected to myself, to God, to others, instead of alone.

I feel joy. Real joy. Every day joy.

Peace didn’t arrive all at once.

It was a slow remembering.

A gentle returning.

A reclaiming of every part of me.

And if you’re reading this…

I want you to know you can return too.

Your Path Back to Peace: Simple Practices

Here are a few small ways to begin reconnecting with your own nervous system:

1. Place your hand on your chest and breathe until your ribs soften.

One minute. That’s all.

2. Let your body sway gently; you are signaling safety.

3. Whisper to yourself, “I’m here. You’re safe.”

4. Step outside and put your feet on the ground.

5. Move to music, even for 10 seconds.

Let your body choose the rhythm.

These are the same foundational tools I teach in my classes and courses, because small practices truly create deep transformation when they are done consistently and with love.

If You’re Ready for Peace, Connection, and Embodied Joy

This is your invitation, whether you’re healing trauma, rebuilding connection with yourself, or learning to trust joy again.

When you’re ready, here are ways you can deepen your journey:

• Live in Love – 4-Week Date Night Series for Couples

• Move with Meaning – West Coast Swing Series Leve l & 2

• Play Passionately – Women’s Night Out Styling & Breathwork

Every single one of these classes is built on the foundation of everything that healed me:

• Presence.

• Movement.

• Breath.

• Connection.

• Joy.

And learning to love yourself from the inside out.

A Final Message From My Heart

If you are walking through your own healing…

If you’re trying to find your breath again…

If you feel broken, frozen, overwhelmed, or unsure where to begin…

Please hear me:

You are not broken.

You are becoming.

Your body is wise.

Your nervous system is trying to protect you.

And peace is absolutely possible for you, no matter where you’re starting from.

You deserve a life filled with joy, connection, breath, meaning, and love.

Your healing is not only possible, it is waiting for you.

I’m honored to walk this path with you.

And I’m here when you’re ready to step into your next chapter.

With love,

Shalay

Live in Love. Move with Meaning. Play Passionately.