Leaning Into Pleasure: Dancing Toward a Life of Passion and Presence Through Somatic Healing

Passion and pleasure, two words that once scared me, now light up my entire life.

I wasn’t always this way. For a long time, I believed that passion was something I had to earn and that pleasure was something to be cautious about. I thought joy came after the hard work, a reward I could claim once I’d proven myself worthy enough to feel it.

But the truth is, we are all born to experience pleasure. It’s our natural state. It’s written in our breath, our movement, our heartbeat. And the moment we start giving ourselves permission to feel it, everything begins to change.

Remembering What We’re Meant to Feel Through Somatic Healing

Somewhere along the way, many of us learn to hide from our own pleasure. We start living by patterns of protection, patterns that formed when we were children.

Maybe we were told to tone ourselves down and not draw too much attention. Maybe we learned that love had to be earned, or that joy was fleeting. So, we built walls. We traded curiosity for control, spontaneity for safety.

Our nervous systems learned that staying in control was safer than feeling deeply. And though these patterns may have once protected us, over time, they become the very barriers keeping us from our own aliveness.

I learned this the hard way. For years, I carried those same patterns, the ones that said, “Don’t be too much,” “Keep everyone happy,” “Play it safe.”And I realized I had spent so much energy pleasing others that I had forgotten how to feel pleasure myself.

When Dance Became My Mirror

Dance, a form of somatic healing, has always been one of my greatest teachers.

I remember one night at a West Coast Swing social, I found myself dancing with someone I didn’t know very well. The music was beautiful, the room was buzzing, but something felt off.

Instead of surrendering to the music, I was in my head. I kept wondering, Are they enjoying this? Am I doing enough? I was trying so hard to make it a good experience for them that I completely disconnected from myself.

And as I left the floor, I realized something deeper: this wasn’t just a dance pattern. This was a life pattern.

In both dance and relationships, I had a habit of shapeshifting, trying to be who I thought others wanted me to be. I wanted to be easy to love, easy to please, easy to dance with.

But that meant I wasn’t showing up as me. The connection I craved could never truly exist because I wasn’t fully present in my own body or emotions.

The Shift: Choosing Pleasure on Purpose

It wasn’t until I began incorporating breathwork and somatic awareness into my dance practice that everything began to shift.

I started to notice how my body felt in each moment, not just how I looked or performed. When I tuned into my breath, I felt grounded. When I focused on the joy of the movement itself, not the result, the connection flowed naturally.

And that’s when I realized: pleasure is not about performance. It’s about presence.

When I gave myself permission to feel pleasure, to move for me, I stopped forcing connection. I stopped trying to make others comfortable at the expense of my own aliveness. And suddenly, the dance became magic again.

The more I leaned into pleasure, the more I noticed it showing up everywhere: in my marriage, my friendships, my work, my creativity. Joy began to weave itself through every part of my life because I was finally allowing it to.

Why We Resist Pleasure

If we are naturally wired for joy, why do we resist it?

Because pleasure requires presence, and presence requires vulnerability. It asks us to soften, to feel, to trust that we are safe enough to experience beauty fully.

But for many of us, especially women, our nervous systems have learned that vulnerability equals danger. So we stay in our heads, analyzing and anticipating instead of feeling and flowing.

In West Coast Swing, this looks like overthinking our connection, trying to predict, control, or please instead of allowing a shared rhythm to emerge. In life, it looks like perfectionism, people-pleasing, or emotional shutdown.

The body doesn’t lie. When we hold back pleasure in our dance, we often hold it back everywhere else, too.

Rediscovering the Art of Receiving

Leaning into pleasure has taught me one of life’s most powerful lessons: Receiving is not weakness, it’s wisdom.

When we allow ourselves to receive a compliment, a touch, a moment of stillness, a breath of beauty, we tell our nervous system, “It’s safe to be here. It’s safe to feel.”

In dance, that means letting the connection flow instead of overthinking it. In relationships, it means letting others give to us without guilt. In life, it means trusting that we are worthy of joy just as we are.

When I finally started believing that I deserved to feel this kind of joy and connection, everything changed. The relationships in my life began to mirror that energy, attracting people and experiences that matched the peace, passion, and authenticity I was cultivating within myself.

The Lesson: Pleasure Is the Path, Not the Prize

For years, I thought pleasure was something that came after healing, a reward for doing the deep inner work. But now I know it’s the opposite. Pleasure is the work.

It’s what brings us into alignment. It’s what reminds our bodies that life can be safe and beautiful again.

When we dance with pleasure, we communicate trust, to ourselves, to our partner, and to life itself. When we live with passion, we become magnetic to experiences that reflect our joy back to us.

So, the next time you find yourself overthinking on the dance floor, or in life, I invite you to pause. Take a breath. Feel your feet on the ground. And ask yourself: Where can I allow more pleasure right now?

Because when we allow pleasure to guide us, connection follows effortlessly. The music feels sweeter. The dance feels lighter. And life begins to move with us, not against us.

Bringing Pleasure Into Practice

Here are a few gentle reminders I return to often, both on and off the dance floor:

✨ Breathe before you move.

Your breath is your anchor. It brings you back to the present moment, where all pleasure begins.

💞 Notice without judgment.

Instead of asking, “Am I doing this right?” ask, “How does this feel?”The body always knows.

🌸 Let yourself receive.

When someone offers you connection, in dance, in love, in life, receive it fully. You don’t have to earn it.

💫 Move with curiosity.

Pleasure lives in curiosity, not perfection. Explore. Play. Allow yourself to be surprised by joy.

The Invitation

If this message speaks to you, if your body is craving movement, meaning, and connection, I invite you to come dance with me.

At Dance to Uplift, every class is designed to help you reconnect with your body and rediscover the joy of movement. Whether you’re joining me for a Ladies’ Night Out, a West Coast Swing Date Night, or one of my Move with Meaning series, you’ll experience how breath, awareness, and intention can transform the way you move, connect, and live.

Join me in Mapleton, Utah for Dance to Uplift’s 2026 classes, a space to heal, play, and remember what it feels like to live with passion and pleasure.

Because when you let joy lead, everything else falls beautifully into rhythm.

👉 Learn more and register at DanceToUplift.com