Dancing Our Way Back: How West Coast Swing Connected My Husband and Me

Over the last year and a half, life handed my husband a journey I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Four major surgeries, each one demanding courage, patience, and a level of resilience that still humbles me. A bicep surgery. A shoulder surgery. And two knee surgeries. One after the other. Every time he healed from one, another challenge waited right behind it.

For us, dance has always been more than movement. It has been the heartbeat of our connection, the language beneath our words, the place where our energies meet and remember each other. So when his body needed rest and recovery, we paused. We adjusted. We held space. But underneath that pause lived a quiet ache, a part of us waiting to return to the dance floor.

I knew I missed dancing with him… but I didn’t realize how deeply until the moment I finally got to hold his hand again and feel his lead guiding me across the floor. It was like breathing again after months of holding my breath.

It felt like coming home.

How West Coast Swing First Brought Us Close

My husband and I met over 15 years ago through a mutual friend I knew from the dance world. I always joke that dance didn’t technically bring us together, but if I’m being honest, it absolutely did. Without dance, our paths would have never crossed. Without those nights on the social floor, without that shared movement-based community, we might have lived entire lives not knowing what we could create together.

Long before we ever dated, I taught him West Coast Swing on and off for more than 11 years. Back then, he was just a kind-hearted guy at the edge of the dance floor, willing to step in, willing to learn, and with a grounding presence that made everyone around him feel a little more at ease.

And in those early years, while I didn’t see a future husband, I did see something rare.

I’ve always said you can learn so much about a person by the way they dance.

Are they gentle?

Are they intentional?

Do they listen?

Do they honor the person in their arms?

Dance reveals character before words ever do.

Watching my husband dance for so many years, before he ever became my husband, I saw a kindness that wasn’t performative. I saw steadiness. Presence. A softness blended with quiet strength.

And while we had our own lives, our own paths, our own separate stories… there was always something about him that stood out.

Then everything shifted the moment I watched him with my kids. That’s when my heart knew what my mind hadn’t yet caught up to.

Connection isn’t something you force. It’s something you recognize.

Dance didn’t make us fall in love. But it gave us the world where our love could grow.

The Dance Floor Became Our Safe Haven

When we eventually started dating, after knowing each other for over a decade, I already knew so much about the man he was. Dance had taught me. His energy had taught me. The ease in his presence had taught me.

Everything I admired from afar on the dance floor, I now get to experience every single day in real life.

His kindness.

His steadiness.

His loyalty.

His sense of humor.

His ability to be present.

His willingness to lead with gentleness and follow with trust.

The truth is, West Coast Swing has always been our secret language. A dance you can make your own. A partnership rooted in connection, attention, playfulness, and presence, all the things relationships are built on.

But when he suddenly couldn’t dance for months, then a year, then almost two, it shook us. Not our marriage, but our rhythm. We missed the ritual of it. The grounding force of it. The way five minutes of movement together could dissolve stress, soften edges, and bring us back to each other.

People underestimate how powerful dancing with your partner can be. They think it’s cute. Fun.

Maybe romantic.

But it’s more than that.

Dance teaches you:

• how to listen without words

• how to move together even when you feel differently

• how to trust

• how to stay curious

• how to resolve tension without shutting down

• how to reconnect when the world pulls you apart

  
  

So when he stepped back onto the dance floor after that long year of surgeries and healing, something in both of us unlocked.

We were home again.

Why Couples Dance Matters More Than People Realize

I’ve seen it in my own marriage, and now I’m watching it unfold in the couples who walk through my studio doors.

Dance brings couples back to each other.

It helps them laugh again. It helps them soften toward each other. It helps them remember that connection doesn’t always require deep conversations or perfect communication. Sometimes it just requires presence. Touch. Breath. Awareness.

When partners step into West Coast Swing together, they learn:

• to pause

• to move with intention

• to trust the moment

• to hold each other differently

• to create instead of control

• to reconnect in a way that feels nourishing, playful, and healing

  
  

After seeing the transformation in my own relationship, especially this year, I knew I wanted to open that door for others.

This is why I’m launching my Live In Love classes, starting with a 4-week West Coast Swing Date Night Series for couples.

Not because it’s cute. Not because it’s trendy. But because I know what it does for relationships—especially during seasons when life feels heavy, stressful, or disconnected.

We, as a couple, commit to a dance a day.

Sometimes it’s one song.

Sometimes it’s three.

Sometimes it’s early morning.

Sometimes it’s late at night.

And sometimes, on the best days… It’s both.

It’s our reset. Our play. Our grounding. Our reconnecting ritual.

Dance has given us the tools to move through life with more grace, more joy, and more understanding for one another.

And now, finally having him back on the dance floor after so long, it feels like we’ve been given a gift we’ll never take for granted again.

The Truth About Healing, Love, and Choosing Connection

This past year and a half taught me something I didn’t expect.

Healing isn’t just physical.

It’s emotional.

It’s relational.

It’s spiritual.

And sometimes, it’s slower than you want it to be.

There were days when pain made him quieter. There were days when frustration weighed on both of us. There were days I could feel him mourning the movement his body wasn’t ready for yet.

But we kept choosing each other.

We kept choosing gentleness.

We kept choosing to reconnect, even when it couldn’t be through dance.

And that choice has changed us.

Now, being back on the dance floor feels like reclaiming a part of ourselves, a part that feels playful, connected, and full of joy.

A Message From My Heart to Yours

If you’ve been feeling the disconnect…If life has pulled you and your partner into survival mode…If stress or routines have replaced play and presence…

You’re not alone.

Connection doesn’t happen by accident. It happens because we choose it.

Movement has a way of reminding us who we are and what we mean to each other. Dance doesn’t fix everything, but it opens the door to laughter, intimacy, and partnership in a way nothing else quite does.

My hope is that, whether it’s through my classes or through your own journey, you find a way to reconnect, to move, to play, to breathe, and to create something beautiful together.

Because at the end of the day, love isn’t just felt.

It’s lived.

It’s chosen.

It’s created.

One step, and one dance at a time.

Explore upcoming classes, somatic dance sessions, and connection-centered programs at DanceToUplift.com

❤️ Shalay